You have GOT to be kidding me!!!!
I browse the Wizards of the Coast site every now and then for a giggle. I saw the Elite Opponents article on June 8th and my “Munchkin Sense” started tingling. How can they continue to print this stuff and call themselves professional gamers?!? It’s so shameful….
The Bonus Creature: Thirty-Headed Tarrasque
This creature speaks for itself. The multiheaded template allows it to exist, but it’s still just plain wrong. The multiheaded template says this guy should have a CR 29, but I used the added Hit Dice to recalculate the CR instead. It seemed more realistic, and it’s still a TPK machine. I thought about adding the half-fiend template to it, but then it becomes an instant-kill machine (as if it isn’t already) because its blasphemy caster level is 106. This is probably the most powerful creature I can come up with, but I may surprise myself some day and outdo it.
In melee, it uses Power Attack for 50, leaving it +70 melee on all its attacks. It has ninety head-based attacks in 1 round, thirty of which can be instant-kill attacks (since making a DC 80 Fort save is probably impossible to most everyone it would face).
I adjusted its spell resistance in an ad-hoc manner. One suggestion is to use 11 + CR as its spell resistance, but I compared the old spell resistance and what someone would have to roll to overcome it to get the new value.
Thirty-Headed Tarrasque CR 40
N Colossal magical beast
Init +16; Senses darkvision 90 ft., low-light vision, scent; Listen +94, Spot +94
Aura frightful presence
Languages –
AC 69, touch 10, flat-footed 61; Dodge, Mobility
(-8 size, +8 Dex, +59 natural)
hp 4,947 (106 HD); regeneration 40; DR 15/epic
Immune ability damage, disease, energy drain, fire, poison
Resist acid 10, cold 10, fire 10, electricity 10; SR 52
Fort +100, Ref +67, Will +43
Speed 20 ft. (4 squares); rush
Melee 30 bites +121 (4d8+20/18-20/x3 plus 2d6 on crit plus Fort save DC 80 or die on crit) and
60 horns +120 (1d10+10) and
2 claws +120 (1d12+10) and
tail slap +120 (3d8+10)
Space 30 ft.; Reach 20 ft.
Base Atk +106; Grp +142
Atk Options Awesome Blow, Dire Charge, Great Cleave, Improved Bull Rush, Improved Combat Reflexes, Large and In Charge, Power Attack, Prone Attack, improved grab, rush, swallow whole
Abilities Str 50, Dex 26, Con 93, Int 3, Wis 14, Cha 14
SQ augmented critical, carapace
Feats Alertness, Awesome Blow, Blind-Fight, Cleave, Combat Reflexes[B], Devastating Critical (bite, Fort DC 80), Dire Charge, Dodge, Elusive Target, Epic Fortitude, Epic Prowess (2), Epic Reflexes, Epic Will, Eyes in the Back of Your Head, Great Cleave, Great Strength, Hold the Line, Improved Bull Rush, Improved Combat Reflexes, Improved Initiative[B], Improved Multiattack[B], Iron Will, Large and In Charge, Mobility, Overwhelming Critical (bite), Power Attack, Prone Attack, Spellcasting Harrier (+53 to foe’s Concentration check DC to cast in its threatened area), Superior Initiative, Toughness (6), Weapon Focus (bite)
Skills Hide -8, Jump +14, Listen +94, Search +84, Spot +94, Survival +33 (+37 following tracks)
Improved Grab (Ex) To use this ability, the thirty-headed tarrasque must hit a Huge or smaller opponent with its bite attack. It can then attempt to start a grapple as a free action without provoking an attack of opportunity. If it wins the grapple check, it establishes a hold and can try to swallow the foe the following round.Swallow Whole (Ex) The thirty-headed tarrasque can try to swallow a grabbed opponent of Huge or smaller size by making a successful grapple check. Once inside, the opponent takes 2d8+8 points of crushing damage plus 2d8+6 points of acid damage per round from the tarrasque’s digestive juices. A swallowed creature can cut its way out by dealing 50 points of damage to the tarrasque’s digestive tract (AC 54). Once the creature exits, muscular action closes the hole; another swallowed opponent must cut its own way out. The tarrasque’s gullet can hold 2 Huge, 8 Large, 32 Medium, 128 Small, or 512 Tiny or smaller creatures.
Rush (Ex) Once per minute, the normally slow-moving tarrasque can move at a speed of 150 feet.
Carapace (Su) The thirty-headed tarrasque’s armorlike carapace is exceptionally tough and highly reflective, deflecting all rays, lines, cones, and even magic missile spells. There is a 30% chance of reflecting any such effect back at the caster; otherwise, it is merely negated. Check for reflection before rolling to overcome the creature’s spell resistance.
Frightful Presence (Su) The thirty-headed tarrasque can inspire terror by charging or attacking. Affected creatures must succeed on a DC 65 Will save or become shaken, remaining in that condition as long as they remain with 60 feet of the tarrasque. The save DC is Charisma-based.
Regeneration (Ex) No form of attack deals lethal damage to the thirty-headed tarrasque. The tarrasque regenerates even if it fails a saving throw against a disintegrate spell or a death effect. If the tarrasque fails its save against a spell or effect that would kill it instantly (such as those mentioned above), the spell or effect instead deals nonlethal damage equal to the creature’s full normal hit points +10. The tarrasque is immune to effects that produce incurable or bleeding wounds, such as mummy rot, a sword with the wounding special ability, or a clay golem’s cursed wound ability. The tarrasque can be slain only by raising its nonlethal damage total to its full normal hit points +10 (or 4,957 hit points) and using a wish or miracle spell to keep it dead. If the tarrasque loses a limb or body part, the lost portion regrows in 1d6 minutes (the detached piece dies and decays normally). The creature can reattach the severed member instantly by holding it to the stump.
Wouldn’t it just have been easier to say, “Oh I’m sorry, all your characters are incinerated by the will of the gods and will not be eligible for even being wished back into existence!” This is like the biggest waste of effort I have ever seen. Obviously no one will ever be able to approach this thing AND it will likely cause mass extinctions on whatever plane it happens to inhabit. So much for game balance! Sometimes I think it’s the creation of such ridiculous possibilities as this that makes me so crazy about running this game. Some things should just be left alone. Of course, I’m sure that now they’ll feel the need to make a “miniature” for this creature…. and I’m still making do with only a handful of skeletons and zombies in my figure collection!!!! No, I’m not bitter….I’m WAAYYYYY beyond bitter!